A Phantastic Phall at the Pha

First, here’s the good news. Every Saturday in September, and also on the first Saturday in October, Philadelphia Park will be offering cards chock-full of stakes and giveaways, a welcome change from the usual Saturday fare that is offered to fans and handicappers.

Now, try this on for size. The powers that be at the Bensalem oval have decided to name this time period the “Parx Phall Phestival.” Hmmm … okay … is this really a “Parx” event? Isn’t that the name of the glitzy stand-alone casino that faces Street Road? Isn’t the racetrack named Philadelphia Park? And come on … “Phall” is so very much like the word “phallic,” which we all know is another name for a man’s … ahem … piece of equipment. And the attempt at alliteration – it would work much better if the word “Philadelphia” was in there somewhere, wouldn’t it?

Okay, now that I’ve voiced my opinion on Parx’s Phabulous and Phantastic Phall Phestival, here are the details on the Saturday racing:

* Saturday, September 6 – Labor Day – “Smarty Jones Day”

For those of you still in love with Smarty Jones, the track will present the $300K Smarty Jones Stakes, plus the $250K Turf Monster Handicap, with total purse offerings of the 10-race card approximately $1 million.

* Saturday, September 11 – Pennsylvania’s Day at the Races

This will be a day entirely devoted to Pennsylvania-breds, and a welcome change from last year, when the Pa. Horsemen’s Association decided to conduct its Owner’s Day celebration on the same card. There will be 10 races all for Pa.-breds offered, including four stakes.

* Saturday, September 18 – Owner’s Day

Ten races, including the $250,000 PTHA President’s Cup, with total purses over $700K.

* Saturday, September 25 – Pennsylvania Derby Day

The $1 million Pa. Derby, which is still a Gr. 2 event probably due to the size of the purse, tops the 11-race card, which also features the $250K Turf Amazon Handicap.

* Saturday, October 2 – Cotillion Handicap Day

Ten races, with a total value of $1.5 million, are on the agenda, including the Gr. 2 Cotillion, the $250K Gallant Bob, and the $75,000 Alphabet Soup Handicap for Pa. breds.